Friday, June 4, 2010

Look Before You Leap: A premarital guide.

 Look Before You Leap, is a wonderful guide for couples thinking about getting married or wishing to better their relationship. This guide starts off with an introduction of what it takes to have a good marriage. These pages are filled with fundamental principles and issues that marriages involve. It is honest and raw, it is not meant to make the reader comfortable, but rather to evaluate and think, as any helpful guide should. The book has a personality quiz and relationship quiz with discussion Reponses for both. These are meant to enhance and help the couple through questions that might stump them or be hard to answer. The response chapters are extremely helpful and a wonderful addition to the quizzes. The author doesn’t leave you hanging on your own, but truly tries to help you as a couple in understanding each other and the difference in your possible answers.

The guide also has Communication and Conflict resolution tips suggested solutions for problems that might arise in a relationship. Case studies and examples of couples and their stories are given throughout the book, with a focus towards the end. These are meant to help guide the couple and show that everyone has issues. They can be big or small. Some are overcome and others are deal breakers. All of them agree that it would have been better to find out before the marriage rather than during or after. As in most relationships the longer your together and the more advanced the relationship becomes, the more hurt you will endure in the event of it ending. Divorce is not only upsetting, it is also very expensive. The author gives a guide to different personality disorders at the end. This was extremely interesting to me. I found it very helpful to understand why some people act and react the way they do. I thought this was an interesting and helpful approach to add to the premarital guide.

Lastly, the guide has a chapter on “people you may meet”. This is meant to help understand each other and how you deal with different types of people. Every couple has friends, family, co-workers and ex-relationships that will merge into your lives together. It is unavoidable, but you are able to help curve the situations by understanding your mate and their personality along with others personalities. The author gives an appendix with recommended resources for further review or more specific review of a given topic that you as a couple want or need to explore.

I can’t say enough about this guide. I loved it! Having been married for six years, I was able to fully review how helpful this guide would be to those who have not yet been married. The questions and quizzes are full of legitimate information and questions that should be discussed when thinking of marriage. The author brings many good suggestions and helpful advice to the table. I feel the author was very real, in that she didn’t make this guide condemn anyone. She is realistic in her approach to the issues couples face today. I would suggest everyone buy a copy of this or borrow it from your local library and go through it together as a couple. It has a wonderful section on communication and its importance. Even if you have a strong relationship, you can always learn something. My husband and I learned more about each other through this guide. It is well worth the money you will spend, and your time spent exploring each other along with your compatibility.

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