Monday, August 8, 2011

Top Ten Items Every Good PTA Mafia Mom Has Tucked in Her Purse At All Times

I am pleased to welcome Elsie to my blog!  I am thrilled that she chose to write on this topic and loved how entertaining her guest post and interview turned out to be!  Enjoy her top 10 list and then check out our interview!  Of course, don't forget to connect with her on any one of her many websites and check out this wonderful book!  The title below is linked to Amazon.  Feel free to click and find out more about Elise!!

Top Ten Items Every Good PTA Mafia Mom Has Tucked in Her Purse At All Times
by Elsie Love, author of Confessions of a PTA Mafia Mom

Confessions Of A PTA Mafia Mom

1. Bribe money. At least a coupl’a hundo’s broken down into untraceable, smaller denominations.

2. Vamp Red lipstick—matte & shiny varieties. Matte for day to day business. Shiny for extra sex appeal. Either works in a shake down or shoot to kill scenario.

3. A small makeup mirror. Great for checking the ‘do’, it doubles as an over the shoulder spy mirror.

4. Cell phone with the latest picture taking technology. A clear picture, snapped at the right angle (without the subject’s knowledge) can earn you free highlights & waxing for life.

5. An extra pair of thong panties. If you’re going down, you don’t want to be strip searched in your granny pants.

6. Gum, extra strong & sugar free. Martini breath is not widely accepted at school functions.

7. Little black book.  How else can you keep straight who is sleeping with whom?

8. Super Glue. In a pinch, it really can suspend someone from a ten foot construction beam, at least long enough to make a quick escape.

9. Your grandmother’s secret brownie recipe. For those in the PTA flock who still believe it is about box tops & soup labels.

10. Handi- Wipes w/bleach.  The first rule of being a PTA Mafia Mom is: leave no trace.

Interview with Elsie

Confessions of a PTA Mafia Mom is your third book.  What else have you written?
My first book was a suspense thriller titled, Killer on the Key. It follows two women-- both named Maggie-- from two different time periods. Their lives end up intertwined over a “family curse”. I wrote it while on vacation in Longboat Key, Florida. While we were there, our neighbors told us about a small cottage nearby. The owner had passed away, and was found under her bed. That got my creative juices flowing.

My second book, Opals & Rubies, is set in Sevierville, Tn. It has quite a few horror elements in it, but really for me it is a book that questions conventional wisdom about redemption. The characters are dark & gritty. Rough around all the edges. If you choose to take the plunge, consider yourself forewarned…

Both books were written under my alter ego E.B. Loan, with a different publisher. I’m happy to announce my new publisher has agreed to pick up both titles & re-release them (with outstanding new cover art) next spring. Of course, you can always get a first print run copy now.

I suppose I should mention that I write a monthly editorial on different aspects of writing/publishing for The Inspired Quill Publishing House.

And last, but not least, I just sold the digital rights to one of my short stories, Looking Glass Lilly. It will be listed on as part of the Istoria Books LUNCH READS series, shortly. I’m very excited about that!

Where do you find you pull the most inspiration from in regards to new novel ideas?
Everyday life provides so much great material! Having a mind that thinks in circular patterns helps as well. Circles and spirals make more interesting designs than straight lines.

If you could be any super hero, who would you be?
I can’t think of a super hero, but I’d love to have the watch from The Twilight Zone episode that freezes time. If I could add six more hours of productivity to my day and still get eight solid hours of sleep, I’d be unstoppable! Plus, I’m fairly certain I’d age at half the rate of everyone around me—take that wrinkles & cellulite!

If you weren't a writer what occupation would you want to have?
Since I’m still in the ‘starving artist’ phase of my career, I think I’m still striving to call my writing ‘an occupation’. Now, if I could choose anything, I think I’d go with trust fund baby (can that be considered an occupation?). It comes with endless cash and free time, which I could then parlay into more writing—oh and yachting—let’s not forget yachting.

Favorite Book?
Anything by Erma Bombeck. I believe I read The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Septic Tank when I was eleven. Even then, I got it.

Favorite Author?
Erma. The world lost a great comedic writer when she passed. I also love old Stephen King. I’m also a big fan of some of the new Indie works. Indie is so super cool. It is a movement that is changing the art world on every level. 

Last book you read?
I just finished, THE TOWMAN’S DAUGHTERS, by David J. Walker. It will be out in print in early Oct. Great read. A mystery based in Chicago. Funny, well written, impossible to solve before the end…I loved it.

Reading anything now?
MISTAKES, by A.M. Hayward & L.J. Holder. I just started it, so I will withhold any and all comments until my formal review.

Any book you wish you could finish but haven't?
MEIN KAMPF. I keep trying; I just cannot get into it. I want to finish it so I can write a scathing ‘you suck, Hitler’ review…but I don’t think it is in the cards.

Favorite snack food?
Cream Cheese Jalapeno poppers with a side of spicy wings

Favorite drink?
Wine, in any variety, any time, any day…

Favorite Pizza Topping?
I’m a Chicagoan. I go for the classic thin crust, sausage & mushroom.

How can fans connect with you?
I’m all over the web:
Twitter: @ebloanwrites
Facebook: E B Loan Fiction writer from Chicago

Thanks Elsie!!

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